i hope you eat good food, grow beautiful things, and have more love than you know what to do with.
September 2, 2017
Love What You Have, Have What You Love
About two years ago, one of my best friends told me about a book she read called “The Art of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo, and how, in it, there is a method of figuring out what to keep and what to throw away when you’re trying to get more organized. You touch everything and if it brings you no joy or happiness, then it goes. (Insert throwing out husband joke here.) You also don’t bring anything home if it doesn’t make you happy.
I have been meaning to read it, but haven’t gotten around to doing so yet, but that novel idea revolutionized the way I began to buy things. One of the biggest changes was that instead of buying sets of dinnerware because it’s supposedly cheaper, I started buying singular plates and bowls and cups that I absolutely adore. If I didn’t 100% love it in the store, I wasn’t going to buy it just because it was on sale/I needed it at the time.
The result is nothing short of magnificent, although it might drive someone who is compulsive about matching up the walls.
And she was right–it made me happy to open up my kitchen cabinets during mealtimes, being greeted by them. I began to look at my food like I look at people, and the bowls I put them in like their clothes. Why should everyone have to dress the same? It was as if I was opening my closet, and figuring out what I wanted to wear for the day. My style, in case you haven’t noticed, is more shabby chic, and align closely with “Mori Girl” fashion. (But that’s a post for another day.)
When I was younger, I used to buy things because they were on sale and I needed them, but I realized after starting to utilize this philosophy that I was, in a sense, only surviving, not living. I think the value of being surrounded by things that make me happy is priceless to my mental health.
Now, I no longer looked around and only see clutter–when I’m going through my cabinets, I see precious things that spark joy in me to use.
I took it one step further in that these days, on the rare occasion I go shopping for things, out of every 3 things I think I want to buy, I can only choose one, and therefore it has to be something I’m going to value and treasure the most.
I absolutely adore this Gudetama mug, and it’s my husband’s favorite. I love his cute little butt on the inside rim–it just makes my heart giggle when I see it.
One of the responses I got when I answered to the question of “What are some small, cheap improvements around the house that can make everyday life more enjoyable?” on AskReddit, was that this philosophy seems like it would make everything more expensive in your house, if you went by only buying things you love.
This was an interesting conundrum, because it would, if you only loved things based on their price, and the philosophy wasn’t about buying the more expensive of two choices, but rather, buying the one you love the most between all the choices you have. Like clothes, the more expensive one may not necessarily fit you, and you may not like it as much.
One example I had of this was that when I had first moved out, I bought a 20 piece set of plain white bone china dinnerware for about $100. There were 5 big plates, 5 small plates, 5 cups, and 5 bowls. Each of these came out to $5 if you divided it evenly. In contrast, going to Home Goods and buying singular pieces–most, if not all of them were $1, $2, or $3, and not only did I love the designs, but they came out cheaper than individual pieces of the whole set. I didn’t love the set that I bought either, so what was the true value of it?
Another example was that I love my cheap $30 brick phone–and instead of making me feel anxious or a prisoner to my emails and the internet that my smart phone did (when I had one), or making me fret about it being stolen, lost, or broken because of all the information on it, it brings me peace and security, and I feel less worried about battery life as well.
One thing I will leave you with is that there is a Japanese folklore concept of “Tsukumogami”, which are tools and household items that have acquired a soul, after serving a master faithfully for 100 years. This makes me want to love the things I have even more, because if we are to believe it, our love and attachment towards them bring them life. While some connotations of it are bad, as in they become malicious spirits, I choose to believe they become companions with attachments and awareness of their own.
Perhaps this is where “cursed” objects and objects that bring great fortune stem from? If it’s well loved, rather than coveted or envied, then perhaps it will bring good luck to the owners, rather than bad?
I feel like that’s such a romantic idea. I hope, if you have time, you take a look around your house and see if you can’t make it into a place you absolutely love to be in, rather than just a place you live in.
